What? A new post??

Alrighty, since this little lady is about to make her appearance in to this world very soon....
Just wanted to say that I'll be posting on this blog once again.
Yes there will be a TON of baby talk and baby photos posted here. So if you're not in a place emotionally to view or read those sorts of posts, then this is your warning about it. Just don't want anyone to feel like they've been caught offguard by the incoming onslaught of baby shit.

Figured this would be a good place to post again since we will be trying for another LO not too long after this little lady is born. Not right away or anything, but just not long and it will be interesting (for me at least) to see what my body does, doesn't do, weight gain etc etc.

Yep, that's it for now!! :)

Clingy

Ok so this post is going to be a bit... revealing :P

Why the hell is pubic hair so damn clingy??
I haven't trimmed the hedges for a while so did that today before taking a shower.
Hopped in to the shower after I was done and THOUGHT I cleaned off all of the stray cut hairs down there, but NOPE.
Just used the bathroom and hair all over the frickin tp. WTH?

I just don't understand why these particular hairs just love to grab on and not let go to whatever surface they happen upon!

Former infertiles

A subject was brought up in one of the forums that I go to.. and it just made me realize... I think sometimes.. former infertiles can be the most insensitive bunch.
I really hope I don't end up as one.

Let me clarify.

It just seems like SOME of them just completely forget what they went through. OR they remember, but feel the need to for some reason belittle others still struggling that are going through difficult and negative emotions.

For instance in this thread... it was started by someone who struggled and was upset when a friend who was still struggling deleted her FB account b/c she didn't want to see pregnancy announcements and whatnot any longer.
This former infertile just could not wrap her mind around it b/c SHE never did it when SHE was struggling herself.

And another who is all butthurt b/c a friend distanced herself from her when she got pregnant. And how it's SO rude b/c SHE never did that when SHE was struggling.

I mean... really?? Come on. It's great that they didn't do whatever, but to rant about someone else that does? I can understand being hurt by it if it's a friend or family member. No one wants to lose touch with someone, but to just plain not understand WHY just completely baffles me, especially when they KNOW how hard it is.

I hope that makes sense.

We all have to do what feels right to us. If it's putting on a happy face when you're hurting inside, then do it. If it's distancing yourself, do it. Who is to say what is right and wrong in such a situation, and I would've thought that people who struggled themselves would understand that, but I guess not.

WHEW! Crisis averted

So I talked to DH last night and thank goodness. He cleared it up a bit.
Just mentioned that they watched something on the Illuminati and he was just mentioning it to me. He has his own beliefs in it all (which is more of an interest and what if), but he's not one that believes all of the extra crazy stuff about it, like that Lady Gaga, Beyonce or whoever is part of it all etc etc.
Thank goodness!!! lol

Conspiracy Theories p2

Ok.... I looked up a few things on the Illuminati thing. And while interesting... holy shit it is so full of crap it's not even funny.
I mean come on.... these illuminati conspiracy theorists think they're using Lady Gaga as some sort of subliminal messenger to get their Satanic mesage out there. WTF??
And of course this is all posted by a religious bunch who think the Illuminati are a bunch of satanists.
And just to be clear before anyone gets offended.... I am NOT attacking religion at all. The majority of people that are religious are good level headed folks....
These conspiracy nuts ARE NOT.
I mean just seeing symobolism where there isn't any.
Like the Lady Gaga thing about how her name is easy to say so that has to mean something. A photo of her wearing an outfit that has butterflies on it... THAT means something.
Or some logo with a lightning bolt going through her on it also means something too.
I love reading conspiracy stuff, but you just have to draw the line somewhere, ya know? Some people just take this crap WAY too far in to crazytown.

And lets say for arguement's sake that there is this secret society that wants to take over the world, they're all Devil worshipers and they're putting subliminal messages in shit.
Ya know what? It's not fucking working so why should anyone give a shit.
Me seeing Lady Gaga wearing butterflies or a lightning bolt, or covering an eye isn't going to cause me to suddenly become a devil worshiper that goes out and kills babies and I'm pretty sure it's not going to for the rest of the SANE population.

UGH, I'm seriously going to have to smack some sense back in to DH.

Conspiracy Theories

Anyone know someone that is in to all of that stuff?
I admit that the little that I've read or heard sounds interesting and it's fun to read about, but I wouldn't say I'm way in to it or anything.

Well.. apparently DH's friends that he hangs out with on Weds are REALLY in to all of this crap and they're starting to get DH in to it as well.
Now I don't mind it at all, if he wants to believe in whatever, then that's fine, but geezus! They are really REALLY in to all of it.
They are convinced that within 5 years that society as we know it will be gone.. and turned to chaos. Just think of what happened in the movie Contagion... and that's what they expect to happen x10.
Just the complete fall of our government, social order, everything.
It's pretty scary to think about.
I think DH wants to start stock piling supplies. I'm actually totally fine with that, I think everyone should in case of any kind of emergency... but I just hope he doesn't become as paranoid as his friends.

Like last night, I jokingly asked him when he got home if they started talking about conspiracy stuff again.
He just laughed it off as he got ready for bed. Then... he started going on about the Illuminati and how they're using famous folk to get their Satanic messages across or some shit. Uh... WTF? I know he got all of that crap from his friends, but hearing it coming from his mouth was a bit of a shock. I'm gonna have to read in to it so I can talk some sense in to his head rofl.

Stupid ass drivers!!!

I've been in such a pissy mood lately and I MUST rant about this.

I don't drive often (thank goodness. Have you seen gas prices lately? YIKES).... but when I do, there is at least 1 terrible driver out there that just seems to always be right in front of you just to ruin your mood.

Oh, there was that person today.
Some asshat in a pickup truck going 40..... FORTY on the highway where the speed limit is 60. And 40 was the fastest this douchenozzle went... he actually got down to frickin 30mph at one point. Why??? I have no fucking idea. His truck looked pretty new and in good shape. The weather was gorgeous out. Not a lot of traffic, but this dipshit still figured it would be a good idea to get on the damn highway and go 20 under the speed limit.
What... the... fuck!!!
If you don't want to go fast... take the damn back roads you MORON or how about learning how to fucking drive??

And UGH, I actually dread when I have to go out at around 10am. That's when all of the old ass drivers come out and most can't drive for shit too! Most are slow as hell and lookie-loos that want to look at every damn thing except for the road in front of them.

OR how about the death on wheels bunch. Ya know, the idiots you see with their iphones up to their faces so they can read a text or text back to someone... not paying attention to the road and swirving all over the place.
Yeah, that's always fun to come across... especially when they're swirving in to your lane as you try to safely pass their dumbass.
I really frickin wish they would make that shit illegal here already. I get SO pissed off when I see that b/c they could end up killing someone b/c they're too stupid and impatient to get off their damn phone for a second.

Totally random

I have nothing to say really lol. My brain has just been mush lately when it comes to actually thinking of anything worthwhile to say :P
So.. in light of that.. here are some photos I took yesterday! YAY!
They're nothing spectacular or even all that interesting lol.

The sunroom. YAY! It actually doesn't get a lot of direct sun which kinda sucks, but I still love it. I can't wait until we get some more money (whenever that is) so we can get some sort of chair or something to put in there.
We just recently moved a lot of it around. Like the thing in front of the fireplace was in the nursery. We never use the fireplace (it's gas, not a real one).. so figured why not put something in front of it.
And the 2 big palms we bought on clearance at Walmart :D

A lot of the plants on the right will be planted outside, so things will look different once it gets warmer and DH figures out where to put everything heh.

OO had to show 2 more deals we got at Walmart. Bought the 2 smaller plants for a dollar a piece. WOO! Obviously by the look of the containers they're in, they're from Valentine's day. Still healthy looking and come on.. a dollar is an awesome deal. Going to transfer these to larger pots once we get some potting soil.

Next up... Cid!! My spoiled adorable Frenchie mix :D
He was all snuggled up by DH last night and just looking WAY too cute not to get a photo of.

Love my pup so much :D



Fat was my infertility

I hate to admit this, but I NOW do think that me being overweight was causing my infertility problem.
Not saying it's the ONLY thing... I do still have PCOS... and I think my cycles would still be pretty screwy even if I did lose more weight just b/c that's the way they were when I was younger and thinner, BUT what happened when I lost weight finally. I started ovulating on my own.

DH was totally right (and I'm gonna have to hear about it for forever!). He first said to me.. maybe I should lose weight before we tried any kind of treatment. He didn't say it in an ugly way or anything, but come on... who wants to hear that? I sure as heck didn't. I was already 30yo and was ready to start those meds and whatever else to get my baby before I even thought about losing weight.
Fat people know they're fat... but there is that denial about HOW fat we really are sometimes and to have someone suggest that we need to lose weight... you just don't want to hear it... ya know? We don't want those reminders.
Well, that's at least how it was for me.

Not saying losing weight is some magic cure for every overweight infertile woman, but maybe, just MAYBE losing weight could help too.

MIA from here at least

I'm sorry I don't update this blog more often now. I haven't abandoned it... I just don't have an interesting life so can't really update this part lol. Well, not unless you want to hear about cat shit which... hell, who does.


I'll try to think of more things to post though *nodnod*

Do you know your neighbors?

I have NO idea who our neighbors are and quite frankly... I don't want to know. I guess that's natural.. me being a hermit and all lol.
The neighbors to our right don't get home until midnight anyway, and the couple on the left are grandparent types and the woman is always outside smoking and talking on her phone.
There is an older couple across the street to the left that have an adult son living with them... and the ones to the right across the way are annoying assholes with kids that are the same.
So yeah.... I don't really care to know any of them which is kinda sad to think about.
I remember growing up in my old neighborhood and knowing a ton of the neighbors and going to their house, asking for favors, getting free goodies from the older couples, etc etc.
Oh well...
____

I swear our 2nd oldest dog is an IDIOT. She's a really sweet dog, but she is just stupid as hell.
I put our birdseed and sprinkle some on the ground for the larger birds that can't perch on the bird feeders.
Her dumbass goes out there and EATS the birdseed. WTF??
I've caught her before doing it and she just comes wagging away w/ a birdseen goatee on her muzzle :\
____

And while I'm on the subject of our pets... I'm going to kick the shit out of our cat. I have HAD IT with the fat piece of crap cat.
He used to be great. Not perfect, but great. He would sometimes pee and/or poo on our bathroom mats, but those are easily washed so, although annoying and gross, it was easy to clean up.
Well for some fucking reason, he's decided he's going to start shitting on the carpet in our sunroom.
Thankfully it's not runny or anything, but it's still fucking disgusting, especially since 2 of our dogs (not the stupid one), just LOVE the taste of cat shit... and usually end up getting sick from eating it.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH stupid ass cat!!!!
I'll never do it obviously, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to kick the everloving hell out of the cat.
He's a great cat most of the time, but shitting on the floor is pissing me off.
Looking at oe of those plug in things that is supposed to help soothe cats.
I think he's doing it on the carpet now b/c I'm pregnant. I dunno WHY, but... I'll have to talk to DH about purchasing the plugin thing b/c this is going to drive me crazy if he continues to do it.

I don't understand....

... women that post on TTC forums w/ a thread about how they didn't want to get pregnant, but Oh well they are.
REALLY??
WTH is the point? Just to show the world that you're fucking fertile? To rub it in the faces of those that are still trying or actually WANT their pregnancies?
I don't understand why they post and then expect some kind of sympathy from everyone. Uh no bitch..... your post just makes me want to rip all of your damn hair out of your head.

I just read one post where a woman said she was pregnant, it was unwanted, she has 4 kids already, and boohoo her and her DH aren't going to be able to go on their yearly beach vacation this year.
Oh boo-fucking-hoo heifer!
Excuse me while I just take off my rings and sharpen my nails here... no no... don't run away.... Grrrr
It's such a slap in the face to EVERYONE that wants their pregnancy & a slap, punch, and kick in the ass to those still trying.

(also posted in preg blog)

BLEH *gag*

DH and I both reuse plastic cups to save money and reduce waste a little (although I'm sure those nice purdy glass ones would reduce it even more heh)....
Just rinse out and re-use. Easy enough... well.. that's until you don't think to check to make sure nothing is in it before pouring your drink.
There is nothing worse than finishing up your drink only to spot a mystery object at the bottom of your cup. BLEH!!!!!!
And of course it was milk so I couldn't see it until the very end.
It's probably just a little piece of food from dinner last night that somehow got flung in to the cup, but still... *barf*

Everything is good here.
Decided to get some cleaning done today. Didn't do the entire house like I need to, but I put up a lot of the Xmas decor finally.. YAY! heh I can't lift up the heavy containers so DH is gonna have to do that.
I vacuumed too. GOOD LORD the carpet needs to be steam cleaned, shampooed, whatever the hell they do. It is GROSS.
But I guess that's what we get w/ 3 dogs a cat and offwhite carpet. Sigh..... I still want to strangle the people the picked the color.... COME ON... offwhite? WTH? Even my neat-freak of a mom wouldn't be able to keep this carpet clean.

Holy cow

I just got the most terrible clothing catalogue EVER!!!
I never signed up for it so just junk mail, but still.
It's for a website called womanwithin.com.... and I swear... they sell nothing but ugly ass Mom Jeans type clothing. Yeah... Mom Jeans!!!!!
And don't even get me started on the granny panties and moomoos!!!
Just the ugliest, most unflattering drab clothes you can imagine.. this place is selling.
I am not fashion forward at all, but even I wouldn't wear this shit.
Even the beautiful models they have in the clothes look like total crap in them!!!
I'm not saying all clothes have to be tight, but come on.... this stuff is just hideous.
Take a look if you don't believe me... :P
There are suprisingly a couple (and by a couple, I mean just that... a couple) of things that aren't that bad, but the majority...... wow.

Oh I've been neglectful

Of this blog. I really haven't had anything to post about unless you want to hear about how I still haven't put up the Christmas decoration. It's all still sitting in the dining room area :P At least it's not outside so.... yeah :P lol
____

DH and I were supposed to go to a concert this Sunday. It was our Christmas present to eachother. I was SO looking forward to it, but we're being safe and I'm staying home.
Thankfully he found a coworker to go with him. They're going out to dinner first.... to a sushi place... ehehehehe.
It's funny b/c DH has never had sushi before and doesn't like fish :P His friend LOVES it but his fiance doesn't so he's taking this oppurtunity to go heh.
It's just funny b/c I can't imagine DH liking it, but SO many people rave about it, ya never know, he might enjoy it :)
I've never had sushi sushi myself. I love the Korean equavalent which is called kimbap. No raw anything in it and it's DELICIOUS, but usually ends up making me burp like crazy when I eat it heh.
____

We have to go to that coworkers wedding at the end of Feb. BLEH. I just don't like crowds. As I'm sure I've said before.. I am SO not a social butterfly. I'm that person you see standing away from everyone else, or if there's a pet around, I'm the one focusing all of my attention on the pet :P lol
I'm awkward and have nothing in common with the average adult.... especially other women.
But I'll go b/c this could be the start of a great friendship for DH and this guy... so I'll go for DH :)

10w1d

So I had my appointment today. I'm not going to get in to the details about it here... if you want to read those you can click here to view the post.
I will say that everything is great though :)

____________

I've been meaning to ask this ever since the big news of it happened.

Does anyone think that Beyonce actually had a surrogate & faked being pregnant?

Ya know... I have no idea, but I certainly wouldn't put it past a celebrity.

Nothin much

Haven't posted in a few days so figured I would.
Nothing much going on here.
I had to go to the pharmacy today and pick up a couple days worth of progest b/c of prior approval BS.
SO annoying.
Frickin 4 suppositories cost me $10!!!! Holy crap!
It better be cleared up by Wed.

Still haven't restored the computer yet. I dunno where any of the networking stuff is or any idea on how to set it all up so will probably have to wait for DH to finally stop procrastinating about it and get it done or just tell me.

Nothing much going on with symptoms. Come and go, but mostly I feel fine with still freaks me out lol
I have my last RE appointment on Wed so we'll see what's up.

If I don't post for a while...

... it's b/c I'm trying to fix my computer still. It's just so screwed up. I'm going to have to just wipe everything, but before I do, I have to copy and save everything I can which is going to be a huge pain in the ass.

We'll see what happens though and if I do have to completely wipe everything.. damnit, that better frickin fix it!

They are driving me crazy

Talking about my brother and his family.
My brother and his wife are just SO frickin irresponsible and depend WAY too much on others (especially DH and I) giving them handouts to survive on.
I don't mind helping out every once in a while b/c that's what family is for, but damn.. not all the damn time!!!

Like today... I have to go pick up SiL and then pick up their girls from school. Not a big deal and I would've been more than happy to help out, but I was asked at the last possible frickin minute. Which still wouldn't have been so bad, but it's b/c my brother is going to an interview. Awesome right? Well that's until you realize it's b/c he was fired from his previous jobs because he's a lazy ass fucking moocher who can't keep a damn job for anything.
He had a GREAT njob at the local Verizon call center here. Great benefit, great insurance and what does he do? He fucks it all up, constantly calls in sick for no damn reason and gets fired!
And he's constantly lying to me and everyone else about what's really going on. I'm just so sick of hearing his bullshit and I'm so sick of hearing that once again he's jobless.
I mean hell, does he watch the frickin news? There aren't exactly a ton of jobs out there right now.

And don't even get me started on the toilet that they call their home. It is DISGUSTING even just walking up to their door b/c you can smell what is going on inside.
It's a combo of smoke, piss, and shit and I am not exaggerating at all.
They used to have nice furniture.. that is until they let their dogs piss all over them and their girls completely ruin them w/ spilled whatever all over them.
So they got rid of that.. and now just let their 2 dogs and probably their cats as well piss and shit ALL over the living room floor.
This goes back to the incident of my nieces having shit all over their shoes, getting it ALL over the back seat of my car and then SiL having the GD nerve of trying to play innocent and asking "Where did that come from?" As if it came from MY house. I don't fucking think so. Yes, our dogs have shit in the house.. on RARE occassions, but guess what, we actually clean it up!!! *gasp* I know crazy right? Actually cleaning it up so no one will step in it by accident!

And don't even get me started on their completely irresponsible spending. They are poor... period.
They have no money to be doing anything other than paying their bills and putting gas in their car. MAYBE buying something here and there if money permits, but that would be on a rare occassion.
Yet wht do they spend on.... blue ray dvds, computer games, cigarettes, computer parts (like a brand new monitor SiL bought JUST before they asked to borrow money from us.. I didn't know at the time), and whatever other unnecessary crap.

Just ugh, they drive me crazy.
Why is it that the ones we love are the ones to disappoint us the most?
It's not like I don't know what to expect from them... I guess I just still hope that they'll finally get their acts together and be good parents to their girls.
Even though time and time again, they show that they're probably never going to change... silly me over here still hopes they do.

Stupid computers!!!!

GAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I'm ready to throw this damn thing out the window, but can't b/c we don't have the money to buy me another lol.

I think I did get a virus on it. I have no idea where since I don't go to funky sites, so *shrugs*. I'm pretty sure the programs I run got rid of it though, BUT it did it's damage before I caught it.
Now my computer is running funny, freezing up and just being a pain in the ass!!!
I have SO much stuff on the computer that I would have to burn on to a disk if I wanted to just do a whole system restore and UUUUUGH big headache!

Sigh... maybe if we get a nice big tax return... and don't use all of it to pay off bills I can convince someone to buy me a new one :P lol Yeah right heh... I'd still have to copy everything I wanted and hope none of it was carrying a virus with it. Sigh....

Technology can kiss my ass right now.