Monday, April 26, 2010


My name is Lisa. I'm 30 years old. I'm fat and I'm trying to have a baby.
My husband, Eric, is 31, and we've been together for 12 or 13 years. I can never remember.

I should warn anyone reading this that I'm not going to be holding anything back with details. So if you don't want to read about cervical mucus, discharge, etc etc then you may as well stop now.

So if you're still here, yay! ^_^

My husband and I have been TTC since the end of October 2008 with no luck so far.
It helps that I don't ovulate on my own.

I've had irregular periods for as long as I can remember and they've only gotten worse with time and with the extra weight piling on.
Early last year was my turning point though. I had been bleeding almost nonstop for 3 months straight and I was terrified of what could be wrong.
Maybe it's something that can't be cured, maybe I have cancer etc etc etc. It all went through my head.
So I opened up the phonebook and looked through the gynecologists. Boy that was fun.
I visited the various websites that were advertised and settled on one that was nothing but women. I figured they'd be more sympathetic to my situation than a man would. Plus having some guy down there prodding around just sounded weird.

I go in on June or July, I can't quite remember to my very first doctor's appointment. Yes you read that correctly. At 29yo, this was my first OBGYN visit. It's embarassing to admit to, but maybe there are others like me out there.
What kept me from going before? Honestly, it was the shame of not going that kept me from going. I was so embarassed that I hadn't been before that I didn't know how they would react to me. It helps that I never really had a female figure in my life growing up so I didn't know about any of this kind of thing.
Hell, I would practically be bleeding all over the place before I told my dad that I needed pads because my period started.
Anyways, all my fears were put to rest. Oh I was still nervous as hell, and scared shitless that something awful was wrong, but I'm sure we all know how that goes.
A few days later, they called me up to tell me that I had hypothyroidism and I was insulin resistant. So I was given a prescription for metformin and synthroid which I've been taking ever since.
I can't remember when I asked for the clomid, but I think it was for the next cycle.
I was given provera to get my period, and I think given the clomid.
I'm not sure though.
Anyway, boy that first period after the provera was KILLER. I was going through a pad every 10minutes if that long. I bled through about 5 pairs of undies and shorts. And man, if CSI had come in to our home, there would've been glowing blood spots everywhere.
It was AWFUL and great at the same time. Finally, I was on the road to getting better!
My OBGYN never mentioned to me that I had PCOS, but I saw it on my chart on one of my visits. I figured I had it. I mean I have pretty much all of the symptoms of it.

Unfortunatly, that first clomid cycle was a bust. I had to take provera again b/c I didn't ovulate and AF (aunt flo) was nowhere to be seen. Thankfully that period wasn't as bad as the first one.
2nd cycle, I did a higher dose of clomid. But still nothing.
Then, I was put on the lowest dose of femara for 2 cycles, NADA.
Finally my OBGYN referred me to an RE to see.
First cycle with the RE, he tried me out on 150mg of clomid. NADA just as before.
2nd cycle (current one), he tried me on clomid + FSH injections. And once again NADA.
It's frustrating as shit to go through all of this and still nothing happens.

I just emailed him (the RE) today to see what the game plan is for next cycle, and well, he wants me to come in to talk about the options. He mentioned that maybe I should stop TTC for around 3-6months to lose some weight. But that is not an option.
I'm no spring chicken here. 30 isn't that old by any means, but when you have the problems I do, it is. I don't have all the time in the world to wait.
I'll lose weight WHILE trying, but that's it. I won't quit just to lose weight.

So yeah, here I am.... about to go exercise, blahblahblah. I'll do another post so this one isn't so dang long :D

1 comment:

LisaB said...

I just wanted to wish you luck. I agree that you should never give up.