Tuesday, July 20, 2010


End of week 5 results...
First number is from last week, 2nd today

Weight- 222, 221

Left Upper Arm- 15.5, 15

                                                              Right Upper Arm- 16, 16

Bust- 42.25, 42

Below Bust- 38.5, 37.5

Belly above Bellybutton- 41, 41

Waist- 39.5, 40.5

Hips + Pooch- 47, 47.5

Right Mid Thigh- 22, 22.25

Left Mid Thigh- 22, 22.5
Sigh.... damnit, wish my weight had been what it was yesterday. 220, or better yet 219.
Pisses me off.
My photos every week don't even look like they change. Hell, some of them make me look like I've gotten fatter!! Don't even get me started on this damn tanktop, and every fucking clothing line thinking that big girls WANT to wear nothing but horizontal stripes. NM that horizontal stripes does nothing but accentuate the fattness and makes you look even fatter!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean seriously??? Why not just put a big ass logo on a shirt that says FAT ASS and just get it over with.
GOD this is all so fucking frustrating. I am so PISSED OFF.
I've been at this for over a month now and what the hell do I have to show for it?? OOO 6lbs.
Whoopdifrickingdo when I have oh, 80+ more to go! When I have fucking PCOS hindering any fucking progress I should be making. NM these damn fertility treatments that all seem to make you even fatter!
I am so glad we didn't take off 3 months to lose weight. Why? B/c losing 30lbs would've been impossible for me in 3 months.
I'm just so tired of all of this bullshit. The infertility, this weight, everything.
I'm sorry to rant like this, sorry for all the F-bombs, but god.... I am just so SO tired. It always feels like just when things start looking good, like it's going to work, nope, no... not for me!
I mean who the hell knows if we'll even be able to start trying again next cycle. I really think I still have large cysts. I really hope I'm wrong. I guess we'll find out next week.
Sigh, I just want this all to be over with already. The TTC part that is. Well, I know we'll probably have to go through all of this again if we decide to have another, if we can ever get pregnant with our first.
I need to be a mommy already. I need DH to be a daddy.

1 comment:

pookiedoo87 said...

Are you on Metformin? You may have mentioned it and I missed it. If not you might want to talk to your Dr about it. I have heard it helps many women loose weight. I lost almost 20 lbs on it without any other lifestyle change. Good luck. You are making progress, even if it doesn't feel like it!