Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Light & Heavy

So, everything has been pretty normal around here.
My bowels aren't exactly functioning like they used to.
I've been eating a lot of stuff that usually had me in the bathroom 4 or 5 times after an hour to help get things moving so I don't get another gut cramp, but nope... didn't work at all lol.
It's not that I'm even severely constipated or anything, but I guess having met loosen everything for so long, my body just wasn't used to things being solid again :P lol
Ok I'll stop the poo talk now.
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UGH I have Xmas decor to take down today. Shouldn't take too long hopefully but I'm just lazy and don't wanna do it :P Was supposed to this weekend w/ DH and he offered to help me yesterday but I didn't feel like it.
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Forgot to mention this earlier, but someone on Xmas gave us frickin fleas!! UGH I'm so pissed about that.
We put Advantage or Frontline on our dogs. We only had to put it on them 3 times this year b/c I guess after a while, the fleas just automatically stay away or something, I dunno how that works.
Anyway... almost right after Christmas, I'm waking up in the middle of the night getting bitten up and itching like crazy.
I tell DH that I think we have fleas and he doesn't believe me at first. I insist we buy more flea crap and he finally gives in. And of course that night, he finally sees one of the dogs scratching and he found a flea on him.
He better listen to me next time I say we have fleas. If there are fleas anywhere, I will be the first one to know. I dunno WTF it is about me, but fleas and mosquitos love my ass and I always get bitten up to hell.
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Now time for the heavy stuff.
So I'm 8 weeks today and have my appointment tomorrow and I'm scared shitless.
I'm a worrier... that's just how it is. If I'm not worried about something with myself, I'm worried about something else.
And I'm SO damn scared for tomorrow.
It doesn't help that a friend just found out that her baby's heartbeat stopped beating at just over 8 weeks. She saw a nice strong heartbeat at her 8w scan. Everything was perfect. And at her 9w scan, her last one with her RE.... disaster. :(
If you don't know who I'm speaking of.. it's Kara or as some may know her.. Unaffected. You can visit her blog For we are bound by symmetry and please give her some support if you haven't already.
It's just so unfair that this is happening to her or hell, that it happens to anyone that does the right thing.
I don't understand that. It's not like she was out on the street shooting up drugs and chugging down cheap alcohol.... and yet bitches that do still do that have babies all the time while those of us that don't have this happen. How the hell is that fair?
I'm just so incredibly sad for her loss. I was thinking about it all last night and this morning and sigh... it sucks.

2 comments:

Jen said...

I have my next appointment Thursday. I'm right there with you and the whole terrified thing. Praying that your appointment goes well!!

SLESE1014 said...

Definitely praying for you. I'd love to tell you the being terrified thing goes away, but as you travel on this journey you hear all the horror of what can go wrong. We KNOW TOO MUCH. And when you hear the news of other's like Kara, it hits waaay too close to home.

Keep a positive out look and hold on to hope for that is all we have while we travel down this road. Every day is a milestone, every scan is reassurance lasting about a day or so. Then we worry until the next one. All I can say is hope and pray. I swear hope and prayer are what got me through my pregnancy and of course all of you supporting me along the way.

HUGS!!!!