Saturday, June 18, 2011

Well... guess it won't be this time.

I was really hoping that this indent trend leading to BFP would happen once again, but nope.
I had an upset stomach last night right before bed.
Used the bathroom and wiped away fresh blood along with 2 smallish clots.
This morning, woke up, took my temp, got up to use the bathroom and to check to see what the temp was.
Temp dropped again to 97.45 and there was even more blood in the toilet. None on the pad yet, but it usually slows when I'm sleeping.
I laid in bed for a bit and finally got up b/c my mind is racing, and yeah, this is AF.
Actually kind of surprised b/c I expected some spotting to occur beforehand, but nope.

I'm REALLY hoping that I may have ovulated a little sooner than I think I did b/c if not, then I only had a 10 day lp.
Yes, it's still a natural cycle, but 10 days is just too short.
I'm going to start taking B6 again once we're back from this vacation. Or maybe pick some up during it. I'm sure we'll be headed to the grocery store at least once during this trip.

So yeah.... boooooo AF, but YAY natural AF lol.
It's so bittersweet.
Don't get me wrong, I am excited that I got AF naturally, but it also makes me kind of worried.
Will it happen again?
Why now?
Did the little bit of hcg from the chemical help?
What will the RE want to do?
Did the weight loss help? The diet?

I'm def going to start using OPKs again though. I have my doubts that I'll ever start having normal cycles, but hell... it could happen. I actually believe that now lol.
This just opens up the real possibility of having a baby naturally though. I mean if it continues of course.
How awesome would that be? BOY it would save us a ton of money if my body does continue to work on its own. No more injections, no more every other day doctor visits. That would be nice.
Save up some of that money to buy baby stuff :D

In other news, DH is on board with the weight loss goal for the end of the year.
He wants to get to about 180. He's already at about 210 so not much more to go. I think he wants to get cut more than anything, as I'm sure most guys do lol.

My goal is going to be 130 or 140. I think 130 is probably going to be a good weight for me. I'm only 5'1 or 2", but I do not have a petite frame. Even now, even with all of this fat still on my bones, my hip bones can clearly be felt... no fat or well, not much fat around them left to lose.
I also have a big head, so think if I tried to go down any lower, I'd look like a bobblehead or lollipop... not a good look for anyone lol.

I'm super excited about this though. It just feels so right. Like this is supposed to happen. I mean obviously, I want to be pregnant, but if that's not going to happen this year, then I'm gonna look damn good going in to next year!
Plus this possibly ovulating on my own and getting AF naturally just makes me want to get healthier and lose more weight. If that is what helped get my cycle back, then I'm gonna continue to get healthier.
I just feel so determined about this. HOPING that feeling stays with me even through the tough times b/c lord, there are going to be.
I HATE exercising. Love the feeling it gives you, love that I actually do it when I do it, but I hate straining my body. HATE IT lol.

1 comment:

LisaB said...

I'm sorry AF came, but then again - that's great that your body is more regular! Wow! Good luck hun!