Saturday, November 6, 2010

It's creeping in again

It's that time again, that time when all of these awful feelings start creeping in to keep my spirits down.
I'm sure a lot, if not every woman/couple go through this.
Not knowing, the god awful waiting to know, the doubt, the heartache, the fear.
I hate this so much. I really do.
I'm sure whenever I do finally have children, I'll look back on this time as a time when I could be proud of myself that I would do anything and everything to get my family.
But living it right now is just painful and just plain sucks.

I know I know, I need to just live my life, blahblahblah BS.
THIS is my life right now. It's not like every waking moment of my life is consumed by TTC. I'm not saying that. It's just that the majority of my concerns, of my worries & hopes is devoted to this right now. If that makes any sense.
I always seem to type that out. I wish I was a better writer so I could articulate what I'm trying to say better. Oh well. Hopefully the point comes across anyway.
And I know I say Hope, Hopeful a lot. I'll get in to that a bit later.

Anywho, now that I explained all of that. I just needed to vent some. I'm sure I'll be doing a lot of that as the days go by and the stress of this gets worse.

1 comment:

Kerrik said...

Don't worry Lisa, your thoughts are coming across loud and clear. This is indeed the worst part...the wait and the worry. Sending some positive thoughts your way.