Monday, November 14, 2011

Limbo, and not the fun one w/ the stick

So, somewhat news, I go in tomorrow to get blood taken for the other tests whatever they are. Pretty sure it's all of the blood clotting things.
It's so weird to actually wish for something to be wrong. Something FIXABLE to be wrong that is. Just some easy solution that we can take a pill or shot for and POOF pregnant with a sticky bean!
I know it's not going to be that simple and easy though. Sigh... it never seems to be for me.

Still no +opk. They're all looking pretty much the same.
No feelings in the ovaries either. I really think eating so many carbs and sugar has really screwed with my body again. I didn't gain 4+ pounds by eating right :\
I'm back on it today though. I did eat an apple, which isn't that bad, but I can't have that every day. The carbs I do have need to come from veggies and that's it basically. Anything else and it's all going to be stored as fat. I know that sounds extreme but from past experience and what I am now... I think my body is extremely sensitive to carbs/sugar so limiting it that extreme is needed to get my body to do what it is supposed to be doing. If that makes any sense heh.

And that's about it.
Oh if anyone from the buddy group on soulcysters stops by here wondering why I haven't posted.  I dunno, although I'm happy that SO many got pregnant, I just feel out of place posting there now. I know there are still a few others fighting the fight such as myself, but I dunno, it just made me feel lonelier.
It's weird b/c I don't feel that way with another buddy group I've been part of for years now on a different forum. Hell, a lot of those ladies are pregnant w/ their 2nd and I can't wait to read their posts.
I guess it's jealousy as well for me not going to the cysters site. I see women struggling through the same things I am, and when they get pregnant with no medical help, or hell, WITH medical help, I feel more jealousy towards them and their success.
Is that weird? I don't wish any of them ill or anything awful like that, and I do still go there and read posts, but I just can't bring myself to be a part of that group any longer... at least not right now.


Kristen (from SC) said...

Totally understand not wanting to be a part of the group right now. *hugs* We're all there when/if you decide to return. :)

Anonymous said...

they were looking for you on our group too!! but i totally get it also....there are plenty of times wehre i go missing for periods of time! sometimes in need space to just be.