Monday, September 6, 2010

Just not feeling it.

Ok, so no testing today. Since I used 2 tests yesterday, I didn't want to use any more today. Well I was going to use an OPK but we've been gone most of the day so I never got the chance. Maybe later tonight if I remember and can get a good hold.

I dunno though, I'm just not feeling very optimistic though. I know I have to stop worrying etc etc. BUt gawd is that easier said than done.
How am I supposed to NOT worry when my beta was so low?
How am I supposed to NOT worry when my HPTs aren't giving me blazing lines?
How am I supposed to NOT worry when I barely have any kind of symptom?
I know some women don't get symptoms, but UGH, I wish I did. Just so I could feel pregnant. Feel like this lil bean is going to stick.

I've been thinking to it at night and in the morning. Telling it that I'd love for it to stick around, but if it can't, then I understand. I'll be sad of course, but I'd understand. Feel like a crazy woman for doing it but it helps a little. I hope whatever little soul it has can understand me.

Seems like I'm getting back some of the really early weird symptoms I was having. Such as pimples and my hair is falling out a bit more right now. Not sure what that means, but hoping something good.

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