Sunday, January 23, 2011


It's rearing its ugly head.
I try to avoid the Pee stick section of the forums that I go to. I just really can't deal with seeing the various BFP threads that are posted by the excited women. Or the ones where the woman just wants to see the 2nd line get really dark.
Don't get me wrong, I would want to as well whenever my time comes, but seeing it right now just leaves me feeling so jealous and empty.
I don't wish that I was there and they weren't or anything cruel like that.
I'm just envious of their newly gotten BFPs.
I want to join their ranks. I want to post on the pregnant boards and actually stay there. I want to go through a pregnancy with a bunch of other ladies and share what is going on with our bodies.
And seeing all of those BFPs just reminds me that I'm not there yet and they are.
I dunno... I'm still optimistic about this cycle, but the negative feelings, especially fear, are starting to take over.
It's going to be a long TWW. Well..... 11 days for me since my LP is kind of short. BLEH!

1 comment:

unaffected said...

I feel you... I've needed to step away from the forums a bit. It's just hard to not feel jealous and bitter, and like I'm the last infertile on earth :(