Thursday, April 14, 2011

Not looking good

For now at least. It's not looking very promising. OPK is MUCH fainter and BFN on hpt.
If anything is going to show up, it better do it soon b/c I'm running out of luteal phase here. If I am really 10dpo like Fertility friend says I am, then I should start spotting tomorrow and AF will appear Saturday.
If I'm only 8dpo which I could be going by my temps, then I at least have a few more days.
Honestly, it's a struggle to cling on to hope that this could still happen.
Have to keep in mind my other BFP cycles, or well, kind of keep in mind. Both of my BFPs, I didn't get until 13dpo. But then again, both times m/c too so *shrugs*

A BFP post on one of the forums I go to just showed me how this whole thing changes you.
A women announced her BFP and said that she was so excited to give her child a sibling.
All I could think was "It must be nice to be so damn confident." To just KNOW that as soon as you get that 2nd line that it means you WILL be having a baby in 9 months.
I wish I could be that way.... to be able to rely on my body to do what it is supposed to.

I'm sorry this is a bit of a downer post. Just how I'm feeling right now. I'm not feeling completely hopeless at this point, but as I said, it's difficult trying to remain positive.

1 comment:

SLESE1014 said...

It IS so hard to remain positive...even with where I am right now....I can't even be happy for fear of what will happen on Friday. There are no guarantees....I wish I was a normal fertile woman who could just get pregnant and know everything is going to be just fine. How lucky those women are....

Here's hoping for 13dpo good news...and it sticking this time!!!