Monday, May 9, 2011

So... why don't they grow when I want them to?

Frickin cysts. I don't get it. Why continue to grow? How about growing when I frickin want them to. Turn in to nice big healthy follicles instead of waiting for me to trigger to continue growing?
SIGH! Stupid body! Should change my blog title to that..

Also, my temps are really concerning me. Took my temp about 40 mins after I usually do, but they were still low. It rose from yesterday's temp, but was still only 97.73 when my usual post-O temps have been 98+ before.
The only things convincing me that I did in fact ovulate is the fact that my ovaries haven't started to ache until now and those cramps after the trigger shot. That's it.
I figured if I had 5 mature follicles that didn't ovulate, they would've kept growing and I would've been feeling aches a lot sooner.

Hmmm.. I actually just thought of something. Could my high E2 have caused the lower temps? I doubt it, but it's a thought at least. SIGH!
Just so worried. I mean you would think my temp would be sky rocketing right now w/ all of the follicles that should have released an egg.

My left ovary is REALLY aching right now. Right one, not so much. I did experience some bad sharp pains early this morning after I put in a sup. Only lasted for maybe 2 seconds, but that was enough. OUCH.

I had some awful dreams last night.
First, I dreamt that I was friends w/ 2 other women in the TWW that were waiting to see if they were pregnant. One had JUST gotten her BFP, while the other one hadn't. BUT she was exibiting all of the classic early signs and it was obvious that she was pregnant, while I could only just stand there, not feeling anything, knowing that I wasn't.
Later in the dream, I run crying to DH and cry to him, "Everyone else can get pregnant except for me!"

In a different dream, it had NOTHING to do with getting pregnant. It was some weird Da Vinci code, solving clues dream. BUT in it, I was only 7dpo, but started to have heavy spotting of dark red/brown blood that wouldn't stop. And all I could think was "It's too early!" and be disappointed that even with 5 eggs, we still failed.
Yeah... real life fears entering my dreams SUCKS.

Where are my nice happy dreams where I dream about being pregnant or having a baby damnit!

No comments: