Alcohol is def a truth serem for DH lol. That's kind of actually why I wanted to drink to begin with. Just to get him to open up emotionally about all of this, and for myself to open up as well.
I know it's kind of sad, but it works for us.
So last night, after the whole experimental sexual circus....
We were laying down and that's when I asked what he told his family.
He said he told his mom that I was depressed b/c we just had a m/c. I don't think he mentioned the other one and not sure if he said anything else. He said his mom told him that he could tell her anything.
He also told me that he also can't really feel excitement for his sister and his family b/c he wants us to be pregnant.
He starts beating himself up over waiting so long to try. Told him, Even though I wish we would've started sooner, can't do anything about it now so there's no point in dwelling on it or feeling guilty about it.
It was all very sweet and of course I'm crying through all of it.
I try to explain to him better why I'm feeling the way I do. I think I did and he understood.
We also talked about when we're gonna try again and April seems to be when. He really wants us both to lose some weight before then. I think we're both hoping that w/ some weight loss I'll respond better to the meds.
I asked what if the insurance won't cover us any longer, he said we're getting X amount back from taxes, but I mention all of that needs to go to paying bills... most of that being from the injection cycles, specially the last one. He still told me April though. So, happy to at least know that this break won't be too long. That eases my mind a little.
And yeah, I cried a bit more as he fell asleep.
I wish we didn't have to have alcohol to open up to eachother like that. You would think after what.. 13 or 14 years we'd be UBER comfy saying anything to eachother, but it's just our personalities are so similiar in this fashion. Oh well, we have our own system and it has worked so far :) heh
So yep... there it is in a nutshell. I'll continue to exercise. Try to lose as much weight as possible during this time. And I'll continue to exercise during the injections as well. I'll probably stop after the trigger though.
I think once we are ready to try again, I'm going to tell the RE that I want to be a bit more aggressive with the injections. Start at a higher dose and up it more each time if it needs to. I want more than 1 follicle.