Scared

That sums up what I'm feeling.... well, multiply it by about 100 and that's what I'm feeling.

When I got my beta last time is about when everything started to go badly and I'm terrified that it's going to go that way again.

Although I want to, I'm actually scared to take a test later today. I never thought I would ever say that. I just don't want to get the little bit of hope I have dashed away if there isn't a progression. Oh I'll still test of course, but I'm nervous about what the results are going to be.
I just hope this equate will be as good as the last one and not like the first one I took.

I did take my last wondfo this morning along with another opk. The OPK isn't positive any longer. It's about a shade below positive.
The HPT may have a darker line on it, but it's so faint that it's hard to tell. I mean the line is actually on it, you can see it clear as day, but it's still faint. I tried getting a photo of it, but the camera wouldn't pick the line up.

It's going to be difficult trying to hold the PP in. That's all I'm going to be thinking about doing. BLEH.