DH came home... had a look on his face and asked if his mom called me.
All I could think was "Why the hell would his mom call ME of all people?"
I ask him why, he tells me that his sister (the younger one) may be pregnant.
I know it's better to hear it from him but good god that is not what I wanted to hear.
It's not even about wanting to have the first grandchild any longer. It's just yet another reminder that I can't get pregnant. Just another reminder that the only 2 times I did, they ended before I could even feel anything.
That the ONLY chances we have is with expensive medication that we can't afford right now.
It's not fucking fair that it feels like every other woman in the GD world has a chance every month while broken me doesn't.
Yes I am wallowing in self pity but fuck it... I don't care. I'm going to b/c I deserve to with all of the shit I have to go through to even have a frickin chance.