Just when I thought she couldn't get worse...... she proved me wrong.
Tonight was a dinner to celebrate SiL and my neice's birthdays.
We show up and a few minutes SiL shows up.
She comes in actually looking sick this time hugging a blanket and plops on to the couch. At least she wasn't just looking for attention this time.
So everything is ok for a little bit.. that is until they start talking about how sick she's been.
She then proceeds to turn to my DH and says
"If you love Lisa, you will NEVER do this to her."
Are you fucking kidding me bitch??
It seriously took every ounce of me to keep from bursting in to tears and sobbing big wet sloppy sobs.
And even then it wasn't enough to keep my lips/chin from quivering and my eyes from tearing up w/ rogue tears escaping here and there.
I don't know if she knows about the m/c (I hope not)... but she knows damn well that we're having trouble and have been doing medicated cycles.
UUUUUUUUUUGH I could've seriously ripped all of her damn hair out.
Later on in the night, her illness comes up again, and she makes a statement that she would step on her baby to keep from getting sick. Seriously??? WTF kind of crap is that to say???
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.
I will NEVER do that. I will NEVER take any pregnancy I am able to hold on to for granted like that. I don't care if I am bed ridden throughout the entire thing. It just makes me so damn angry that such an ungrateful piece of shit like her gets to have a baby while here we are still trying.
3 comments:
I'm so sorry! That's soooooo awful that she said that!!!! I know she's your SIL but what a b*tch!!!!! And right after the m/c too. Again, I'm so sorry you have to go through this right now. Hugs to you....
Ugh, I can't believe she made a comment like that to you and your husband! I would have thrown her out of my living room.
I just wanted to say I stumbled across your blog when searching around for realistic accounts of infertility and IVF; I really appreciate your honesty and it definitely makes me feel not quite so alone in a world full of people who can get pregnant quickly and easily.
I've experienced a range of very inappropriate comments from friends and family over the many years of TTC. I think the ones that hurt the most are from people who you should be able to rely on for the most support, but unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way. Here's some tidbits of nastiness I thought you might relate to:
- a close friend that I've known since high school, when we opened up and said we were having problems conceiving, immediately laughed and said, "well, my husband and I NEVER had that problem - pregnant first go!" To which he responded (also laughing) "yeah, so think yourselves lucky that you get to practice more than we did!"
- the wife of my husband's best mate really rubbed my nose throughout her second pregnancy, refusing to engage in any discussions about our difficulties (even though they'd had problems TTC too) instead raving on about how uncomfortable she was and how all her friends are pregnant at the same time as her
- a very good friend chose to tell me the news of her pregnancy in the middle of a crowded restaurant, when i was feeling particularly fragile (almost burst into tears, but managed to hold it together til i got home)
- while visiting a good friend in hospital the day after she'd given birth to her first child (and the day after I'd had a laparoscopy to find out the cause of our infertility) said to me "don't ever get pregnant - childbirth is hell"
So, there you go. I'd like to say all those comments were made by insensitive and stupid people, but that's not always the case. I find that it's most often plain old ignorance (and taking fertility for granted) that makes people say such hurtful things to people like us, who pray every day for the chance to have a baby of our own.
Just know that you're not alone. And thanks for your blog, keep writing, please! :-)
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